• We have since moved from good ole central Georgia up to good ole northern Virginia
• Some parts of Virginia are just as redneck as some parts of Georgia
• The wife is having a hard time finding employment
• We still haven’t sold our house in Georgia
• It’s expensive to live in Virginia
• Handling a mortgage and rent with less household income sucks
• Oh – and most importantly – our oldest boy shit in the woods behind our house

Last week, Jake came running into the house with his pants mostly pulled up – his butt was just hanging out.  He informed us that he just couldn’t make it into the house and had to go behind a bush.  He proceeded to describe in detail how it happened – way too much detail.  He even noted that after the evacuation was complete “a fly landed on it”.  And just in case this blog is still around years from now, here is his picture so that any future girlfriends will know what they are getting into.

Although he did crap in our yard, he’s very talented with some aspects of music.  He doesn’t actually play any instruments – yet – but he’s pretty good with putting loops together.  We’ve had our iMac for over a year now, but just started playing with the Garage Band software.  If you’re not familiar with the program, it has several beats, loops, etc from various instruments that you can arrange to make your own music.  It also lets you record your own instrument, but we haven’t gotten that far yet.  I’ll leave you with the music he made on the first day playing with Garage Band.

Jake’s Song

Back in June of this year, I received a letter that a refund was in order.  It seems that they accidentally over charged me for the last three years – or so I think.  While discussing the issue with the Energy Service Rep five months ago, I mentioned that I had moved into the house in October 2005 – so why did the refund only go back until June 2007?  I was told that he would look into it – which I doubt he ever did.  Back to the present day – I received another letter from Georgia Power saying that in addition to the refund I received five months ago, I would be receiving an interest payment based on the original refund amount (credit where credit’s due – I tip my hat to Georgia Power for first notifying me about the original refund and secondly applying an interest payment to that refund).  However, this is where things go somewhat south.  The recent letter rekindled my interest in the reason why the refund only went back three years when I had lived at the house for five.   After calling the customer service number printed on the letter, I asked that very question.  I was told that the Georgia Power standard was to only look back three years.  I asked – and was informed – that it was not a law, but rather a company standard.  After mentioning that overcharging someone for five years and only refunding three years was an extremely bad business practice, I received a change in tone from the once friendly customer service supervisor.  She ever-so-charismatically informed me that all of the rate information is public and it is my duty to figure it out.  I understand where she was coming from.   However, if the wrong rate was charged from the day I began the service, then how am I supposed to know that the rate was wrong – to me, that is just the rate I was charged.  If my bill ever skyrocketed, then I would’ve checked the rate and most likely would’ve noticed a difference.  But that’s not what happened.  And the rate table on the Georgia Power website is not that intuitive.  First, there is the base charge.  Then different rates for various blocks of kilowatt-hours – and the rates change depending on the month.  Then there is the ‘Demand Side Management Residential Rider’ and ‘Fuel Cost Recovery’ fees that are added in – and those aren’t listed anywhere that I could find.  So it wasn’t just as simple as working backwards from my bill to calculate my rate.

The bottom line is – be aware.  If you have Georgia Power – and probably any other power company – be aware of your rate.  Call customer service, check the website, just make sure you’re not being overcharged.  If you are, I hope that it started within the last three years or you will be screwed in the bottom.  To paraphrase an entire SNL skit, it won’t be so bad if they ever disconnect my power – I like the lights to be out WHEN SOMEONE IS DOING SEX TO ME!

UPDATE 3 DEC 2010: I recently filed a complaint with the Georgia Public Services department.  They said that the complaint would go to the Georgia Power executive board and they would make a final decision (short of taking it to court).  I don’t quite understand why they would have the final say – but today, after a week and a half, Georgia Power informed me that they will be reimbursing me for the entire 5 years.  Thank you Georgia Power.  It’s unfortunate that it had to come down to this for you to make it right, but in the end it worked out.

After my nostril was free of finger, I had hoped to just roll over and go back to sleep but my mind got the best of me and took off running with thoughts.  I do freelance artwork on the side and I was lying there thinking about all of the things I was going to need to get started on my latest endeavor.  With that consuming one half of my brain, the other half became irritated listening to Ryan peacefully sleeping.  I tend to get jealous when I can’t just fall asleep like he does.  I had a strong urge to hit him in the face with my pillow just to ruin his tranquil state of sleep but my thoughts jumped forward and told me “That might just get you killed.”  He’s normally a very light sleeper but for the last few weeks he’s been out cold each night.  Wednesday evening, the boys and I ran through an undisclosed fast food restaurant and I must have had a bad hamburger.  I awoke early the next morning at 2:45am feeling extremely nauseous and I started to get that sour taste in my mouth.  That sudden sour taste has always been my queue to make a run to the nearest toilet or trashcan.  My entire meal had come up and I felt like I had been socked in the stomach.  I hate vomiting!  This has happened one other time before in the middle of the night and Ryan rushed in with a glass of water and rubbed my back until I felt well enough to come back to bed.  I was amazed because during this most recent incident, I was a lot louder and sounded a lot more violent.  I thought for sure he’d hear me and come to comfort me.  But this time, I returned to our bedroom with him snoring, lying diagonal on the bed, and with his mouth open.  He’s not an easy man to push back over to his side so; you know how rough that had to have been for me after just getting sick.  He wraps up in the sheets like a burrito and it takes forever to unravel him.

I stayed home from work the next day because I was still sick so Ryan went and picked the boys up from their after school program later that evening.  When all three of them entered the house, all I could hear was whining and laughter.  Nathan is usually the whiner and Jake attempts to negotiate before taking the baby route.  I later found out that the commotion that I was hearing translated to:

Ryan: “OK guys, get your shoes off and go get started on your homework.”

Nathan: “[Hissy Fit] I hate homework.  We never get to just rest for a little bit when we get home.  Can we please watch TV for a little while and then do it?”

Ryan: “No, just get it done now and then you won’t have to worry about it for the rest of the night.”

Jake: “C’mon Ryan, we just wanna chillax!”

Apparently that’s when I heard Ryan’s roaring laughter.

]]> http://www.meadiocre.com/2010/10/wabc-news-at-noon-screw-up/feed/ 0 http://www.meadiocre.com/2010/10/yay-the-summer-of-2010-is-over/ http://www.meadiocre.com/2010/10/yay-the-summer-of-2010-is-over/#comments Sun, 03 Oct 2010 21:10:59 +0000 Jess http://www.meadiocre.com/?p=1813 Continue reading →]]> I know an apology for my absence is warranted but I’ll probably skip that part.  I’ll tell you WHY I’ve been on a summer hiatus but not “apologize”.

Ryan’s last post involved a scorned he/she ninja WoW (World of Warcraft) video that caused me to fall asleep but I’m sure some of you found it entertaining; if you like repulsive, androgynous, loutish behavior.  Well, we all do, so I guess it wasn’t so bad.

My last post was May 2^nd and six days later my grandfather peacefully passed away so, that naturally stalled the blog’s process.  My father was sick on that entire trip out to Missouri for his own father’s funeral, and as all of us returned back home here to Georgia, we learned that my Dad had Stage IV Head and Neck Cancer.  Not getting into any more specifics than that, we all went through a hellish summer, watching him go in and out of the hospital.  But alas, he survived.

Because our blog is of an entertaining nature, we’re going to jump right back on the funny wagon and tell you we found out about THE COOLEST SHOW EVER this summer.  The boys announced to us that there was this new show coming on Cartoon Network called Adventure Time and, initially not paying attention, we said “OK” and went about our business.  BUT, we caught one episode and have made an effort to catch almost every episode since.  This show is hilarious and I highly recommend you watch it.  I would love to be a fly on the wall during the creative process of this show.  It is a gut buster.

The boys still give me quite a bit of comedic material, as does the rest of everyone and everything in this town, Ryan is still every bit as disgusting and we just want to continue to share the hate through our blog.  So please, put us back on your “material to read while I’m pooping” list.

Oh, and Ryan folded and allowed me to get another cat.  Well, actually, I just brought the little guy home.  I think this was the only time I could have ever gotten away with the “I’m having a hard time with Dad being sick and this little guy is taking my mind off of it.”  Real tears and everything guys.  But I meant it, and Ryan knew it.  Riley is now the FINAL hilarious addition to our family.

His Awesomeness includes:

Harassing Sam and Olive relentlessly

Sun bathing on the dining room table despite constantly getting in trouble for it

Tearing open bags of Funyuns ® and eating them

Is a serious kleptomaniac

Being a spelunker; I’m referring to toilets

One of the greatest videos that I’ve seen in a while.  Real?  Maybe not, but I like to think so.  The first thing to note is that this is supposedly a female.   Shocker, I know.  I thought it was a guy the whole time until it referred to itself as a “her”.  Apparently, the backstory is that it was bullied out of WoW (World of Warcraft for you people that actually get laid).  And now it wants revenge!  Or some pie.

WOW Gangsta Threatens Ex-Guildies – Watch more Funny Videos

I never buy spring pictures anyway so, this isn’t really that big of a deal but it’s definitely being added to our arsenal of “Stuff to Embarrass the Boys with the First Time They Bring a Girl Home”.  Oh yeah, it’s no joke.

Anyway, this young girl is an under-grad, ridiculously gorgeous, extremely confident and is about 8-9 years younger than I am, i.e. perkier.  I absolutely know nothing else about her so, I’ll admit, my callous judgment was totally unwarranted.  She may very well be incredibly friendly.  I honestly hadn’t paid much attention to her until my extremely observant husband came home one afternoon and commented about how she had worn a very chesticular shirt that day.  Up until that point, she was just some new person on my row.  Obviously, I zeroed in on her after that because NOW I was curious.

I’m never bothered by any comments Ryan may make about other women.  I must clarify, he’s not disrespectful at all.  Its nothing that ever offends me.  We laugh about it and I agree with his comedic commentary half the time.  I already know he’s thinking those rancid thoughts, in most cases, so why not just beat him to the punch?  He’s a guy; that’s what they do.  But, being that I was on the verge of a headache all day and just being a flat out girl, Chesty McChesterson’s constant chatter with her buddy was really starting to get to me.  I made a comment to Ryan about her excessive talking and, like any douche and normal Ryan form, he asked when I was going to touch her breasts.   I was NOT in the mood for it.  I hung my head down and pouted and wrote my girlfriend and she quickly brought me back to reality.  She put it very plainly; It may look like someone’s shit doesn’t stink but you never know what may be going on underneath their seemingly vain and buxom exterior.  She made me realize I had more important things to focus on.  Yeah, big breast implants!  No, sigh.  Jealousy = Wasted Energy.

So, I’m back to being happy with my small boobies, big nose, odd sense of humor and an ever growing hate for my spouse.  He knew something was off earlier today when I didn’t join in on the mammary jokes but didn’t ask me why.  He’s smart.  After work, I felt obligated to explain my interval of jealous emotion and we both laughed…followed by a long pause…and then me yelling “I’M STILL NOT TOUCHING HER BOOBS!” and him busting up laughing and yelling “DAMNIT!”

On a side note, it may not be such a great idea to tell your children the appropriate medical terms of body parts until you’re confident that they can properly remember them.  In a previous post, I went over how I explained what the womb was for to my very curious sons.  I forgot to mention that I also told them what happens if one were to have a hysterectomy and used my own Mother as an example.  Welp, Grandma informed me that Nathan said “Mommy told us you don’t have a Uranus anymore.”  Nice.

Jess’s Life To-Do List

Ryan (uh wink)

See Muse Live

Visit Sydney Opera House

Meet Daniel Tosh

Oh, and turn my aspiring photography hobby into a career

I did at one time have the desire to own a Dachshund Farm but I grew out of it.  The thought of little wiener puppies running around  in an open field just made me happy.  But then I thought about who’d have to clean up the puppy poo and I quickly lost interest. I do, however, have a friend whose Mom is going to start an Alpaca Ranch and I giggle every time I think about it.  Could you shave the Alpaca, knit a sweater with its fiber and then put the sweater back on the Alpaca?  Is that weird?