Yes, I Still Have Chronic Insomnia (1:33am)

Have you ever wakened with your finger in your nose?  It’s a puzzling, yet awkward feeling.  I had my nails done two weeks ago for the first time and some girlfriends told me that the best way to pick your nose with false nails is by using your pinky.  It’s supposed to make the perfect booger scooper.  I think most people say to use your pinky finger because, I’m assuming, they all have normal size noses. I woke up with my INDEX finger knuckle-deep in my right nostril.  By now you’ve gathered that I have a huge nose.  Each nostril is a good 1 ¼” long.  I can even fit my thumb in there.  Damn genetics.

After my nostril was free of finger, I had hoped to just roll over and go back to sleep but my mind got the best of me and took off running with thoughts.  I do freelance artwork on the side and I was lying there thinking about all of the things I was going to need to get started on my latest endeavor.  With that consuming one half of my brain, the other half became irritated listening to Ryan peacefully sleeping.  I tend to get jealous when I can’t just fall asleep like he does.  I had a strong urge to hit him in the face with my pillow just to ruin his tranquil state of sleep but my thoughts jumped forward and told me “That might just get you killed.”  He’s normally a very light sleeper but for the last few weeks he’s been out cold each night.  Wednesday evening, the boys and I ran through an undisclosed fast food restaurant and I must have had a bad hamburger.  I awoke early the next morning at 2:45am feeling extremely nauseous and I started to get that sour taste in my mouth.  That sudden sour taste has always been my queue to make a run to the nearest toilet or trashcan.  My entire meal had come up and I felt like I had been socked in the stomach.  I hate vomiting!  This has happened one other time before in the middle of the night and Ryan rushed in with a glass of water and rubbed my back until I felt well enough to come back to bed.  I was amazed because during this most recent incident, I was a lot louder and sounded a lot more violent.  I thought for sure he’d hear me and come to comfort me.  But this time, I returned to our bedroom with him snoring, lying diagonal on the bed, and with his mouth open.  He’s not an easy man to push back over to his side so; you know how rough that had to have been for me after just getting sick.  He wraps up in the sheets like a burrito and it takes forever to unravel him.

I stayed home from work the next day because I was still sick so Ryan went and picked the boys up from their after school program later that evening.  When all three of them entered the house, all I could hear was whining and laughter.  Nathan is usually the whiner and Jake attempts to negotiate before taking the baby route.  I later found out that the commotion that I was hearing translated to:

Ryan: “OK guys, get your shoes off and go get started on your homework.”

Nathan: “[Hissy Fit] I hate homework.  We never get to just rest for a little bit when we get home.  Can we please watch TV for a little while and then do it?”

Ryan: “No, just get it done now and then you won’t have to worry about it for the rest of the night.”

Jake: “C’mon Ryan, we just wanna chillax!”

Apparently that’s when I heard Ryan’s roaring laughter.